Why Do People Fall for Dating Scams? | Scam Series

Remember the recent dating scam (also known as romance scam) where fraudsters created an AI-generated Brad Pitt?

Fraudsters used to talk to Anne, a French woman, and made her believe that she was talking to the real Brad Pitt. She also believed that fake Brad Pitt was sick and that he needed help. The result? They duped her to pay $1.2 million.

Whether you are an educated or knowledgeable person, it doesn’t matter. Scammers are becoming smarter and more creative to fool people who are looking for a romantic partner or a casual date.

Every year, the number of dating scams is increasing and victims are losing millions of dollars.

But the real question is, why do people like Anne fall for dating scams? Let’s look into some possible reasons.

Loneliness — The No. 1 Reason for Dating Scams

We humans are social creatures and love human connections. If you think deeply, you will find out that the idea of being “lonely” feels scarier.

And scammers know this very well. They scan online dating websites or apps and look for lonely people who just want someone to talk to. Scammers have already created their perfect-looking profiles to target such people.

Scammers know how to talk to their victims and provide their emotional support. Victims start feeling that there is somebody who understands and cares for them.

Example: Let’s think about Jane, a middle-aged person who lives alone. She wants to share her feelings and thoughts with someone. But there is no one around her she can talk to. Then one day, Jordan connects with her on a dating app.

Jane starts getting attracted to Jordan because he is sending charming messages daily. She believes him when he calls her “beautiful” and “special”. Jordan now knows it is time to strike and dupe her.

Getting Caught in the “Too Good to Be True” Trap

We all dream about finding “the one”—the perfect partner. A partner who is attractive. A partner who knows what it means to be kind. A partner who is genuinely interested in us. Scammers know about these dreams.

So, their creative and fake profiles have what we look for. They use stolen photos from real people. And they know how to craft stories that can attract their victims.

Example:

Let’s say Rohan, a 41-year-old widower is living in India. He is quite active on a social media app. Scammers dig into his profile and get information about his background and status. Then, they create an attractive profile of a woman who is a US Marine. Let’s call her Jennifer.

Jennifer’s fake profile looks like she really is a US Marine. As she is beautiful, a marine, and seems a good person the way she leads the conversations, he gets attracted to her. As there is a long distance between them, it conveniently prevents in-person meetings. And this situation helps in keeping the scam going.

Falling for Emotional Stories

Scammers have learned from the social experiences that they have with their victims. They are artists and know what works and what does not, most of the time.

Scammers or fraudsters are aware that if they ask for money early, their victims won’t trust them. So they craft emotional stories that can hijack their victims’ hearts and brains.

You will hear from them something like:

“I have started loving you and I really want to meet you. But I’m having some financial trouble right now. Can you help me book a flight?”

“I just met with an accident, and I am in a hospital right now. I’m in so much pain, but the doctors won’t treat me unless I pay upfront. Please help.”

“I’ve found an amazing investment opportunity, but I just need a little more money to make it happen. I promise we’ll be rich together!”

Their victims start to believe in these stories as an emotional bond between them has already been established. The victims feel guilty if they say no because scammers play the victim cards perfectly. They make their targets feel like a bad person for not helping.

Furthermore, fake urgencies trick victims’ brains. They find it hard to think logically when the scammers have created a perfect sense of emergency.

Ignoring Red Flags

Victims can protect themselves by looking out for common red flags, such as:

• Why do they always come up with excuses to avoid video calls?
• Why are they asking for money or personal details so early?
• If the messages are excessively flattering, don’t they seem scripted?
• Why do their messages contain inconsistencies? Why do they keep changing stories or forgetting details?

When people ignore such signs, they often end up being scammed.

Example: In 2021, someone targeted a 65-year-old widow and scammed her of $250,000. Why? Because she fell for him. The man used to send the woman daily love letters and promised to marry her. The woman believed him without ever meeting in person. (Source: Federal Trade Commission, 2021)

But why do people ignore these red flags?

Because loneliness can create a sense of desperation. They set logic aside and ignore the warnings from their gut feelings. They want to believe that this newfound relationship is real.

Once emotionally invested in their fake lovers, they ignore facts and logic—letting the heart win over the brain.

Furthermore, in some cases, if victims have already spent months talking to scammers and sending them money, they refuse to believe they are being conned or that something is off about their relationship.

How to Protect Yourself (and Your Friends)

• Do reverse image search — When you connect to someone on a dating website or app, use Google’s image search tool to see if their profile photos appear on multiple websites. If yes, just block them.
• Watch for inconsistencies — As scammers create fake profiles, they often forget details or change their story if you ask different questions to them. If their job, hometown, or personal life details don’t match what they said before, that’s a red flag.
• Don’t fall for fast-moving relationships — Scammers don’t want to waste time and know that love-bombing works. So they keep sending you flattering messages and praises until you become emotionally hooked, ASAP. If you are receiving “I love you” messages within a few days or weeks, that’s a red flag. Real relationships take time to build. If someone is rushing things, it is time for you to stop and think.
• Verify their identities — Don’t trust anyone without checking who they are. Ask them to come on a video call and if they refuse, they are likely fake. Check their social media profile and see if they are sharing about their friends, family, and personal lives. If their profiles have some photos and nothing else, they are scammers. You can also check about their identities by asking questions about their backgrounds. You should be suspicious if they hesitate or try to change the topics.
• Talk to a trusted one — Scammers are con artists and they don’t want you to share anything about them with anyone else. Even if they say not to let anyone know about them, do share your online dating experiences with someone you trust. If you somehow ignore any red flag, they may catch it and advise you about it.
• Trust your gut – We all have been conditioned or ill-educated in a way where we don’t give much attention to our gut feelings. If there is something wrong, your gut feelings inform you about it. So don’t neglect them. When something doesn’t feel right, it is time for you to stop interacting with that person and move on.